Welcome!

So, who the hell is this opinionated arse??!

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I’m Mark Deason. My surname, by the way, is a nom de plume. Or, possibly, a nom de guerre..

I had the idea a while back to write an advice blog. Not about which phone to buy, well maybe that as well at some point, but about the sort of things I would like to pass on to a hypothetical young man just setting out to make his way in the world. I wanted to be as real as possible and, where necessary, challenge accepted wisdoms and provoke thought and reflection.

Over time though, and on reflection I have decided that as this is my blog I shall write what I bloody well please. Whilst I hope that anything which you read here will be either informative, thought provoking or entertaining, or a combination of the three (hopefully), there is a certain amount of venting as well.

If I come accross in certain posts as a bit bitter and cynical you would possibly be right. I take the view though that anyone who has spent 40 plus years on this planet and not experienced anything worth feeling a bit bitter or cynical about should probably try to get out a bit more. Lovely motivational platitudes which you see all over social media are smashing and might give you a warm fuzzy moment but, sometimes, you have got to say it like it is. Yes there is always a way of reframing something to dwell on the positive rather than negative. I applaud that and try to do the same. At other times you have to call out the shit. Hopefully there will be a balance of the two here.

So what qualifies me to make these pronouncements?

I am currently in my late 40’s and, at the time of writing this, am a practising family lawyer.

Throughout my career which is well over two decades long, I have dealt with all areas of family law and have specialised in divorce, marital finances and cases concerning children.

I have done the whole relationship thing. Marriage, divorce, children, girlfriends, breakups, makeups, infidelities, being shat on, doing the shatting, you get the picture. The point is that I have both professional and personal experience about what I’m writing. If I don’t, and I’m just expressing a view not based on direct experience, I’ll say so. So if you read something here and feel like having a rant that I don’t know what I’m talking about, think again.You might not like some of what I write but it is founded in professional and personal experience. There are plenty of wisy-washy feel-good sites. Go visit one of those.

Just for the record, I am not a woman hater. I express certain trenchant views about aspects of relationships but I am not sworn off the fairer sex. I am in a happy, long term relationship as I write. For all of my professional career I have been surrounded by women. I have a daughter whom I love. This site is primarily intended for the male reader (hence the name). If you are a lady then you are most welcome although I have not written with you in specifically in mind. Women are different from men though. They just are. Not better or worse, just different and sometimes those differences make for friction. Lets call those out so that we might get a better mutual understanding rather than pretending that they do not exist.

Finally, if you do find yourself offended by anything which you read here please do remember that you can choose to leave and find somewhere else to read articles more in keeping with your own sensibilities. I welcome respectful debate but not abuse. Keyboard warriors, in particular, who are happy to send all kinds of abuse to people online which they would never have the balls to say to their face can fuck right off.

All of the above does not mean that there will be no warm fuzzies. I like a warm fuzzie as much as the next man so I will be mixing some in with the angst. The plan is to entertain as well as inform and provoke thought.

In the last few months of working on this blog it has occurred to me that some insight from ‘the other side’ might be useful and informative. To this end I am delighted to have Jaimie on board who, when the spirit moves, will be giving us the female angle on a variety of topics. Think of it as ‘insider information’..

You can find Jaimie’s musings under the ‘That’s What She Said..’ tab.

So there we are. That’s me and my manifesto. Thanks for reading.

Mark

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